Life is a dance of endings and new beginnings, arrivals and departures. One of the most profound lessons to learn is the art of letting people be—and the art of letting people go.

A Dance of Life

Just as we are in a continuous process of change, shedding and rebuilding within ourselves at the cellular level, and in our mind through our personalities, at the same time we may notice a shifting world around us, especially in our relationships.

I say "especially" not because relationships are the only thing that can change, but because they are often the most complicated to handle at the visceral level. Some relationships will grow with you. Others will dissolve—not because of failure, but because their purpose has been fulfilled.

People and our relationships with them form the fabric of our sense of self on this earth. We are social animals, belonging means everything to us because it means survival. It’s ingrained in our body through the subconscious mind. People shape our beginning as we come to life and often define how we envision our ending.

We tend to hold on to some relationships with an iron grip, like Rottweilers, because letting go of certain people threatens the idea we carry of ourselves in the world.

That’s why relationships are some of the most intense and overpowering experiences we will encounter. Mastering the art of letting people be—and letting them go—is one of the greatest inner skills we can develop, and one where pure love and freedom can be found.

At the heart of this approach lies a universal concept found in many eastern traditions: non-attachment.

Recognizing When It’s Time to Let Go

Observe what is happening and look beneath the surface. If you are moving aligned towards your life purpose and someone you care about starts behaving strangely, becomes distant, or friction arises, it may be because the essence of that relationship no longer aligns with your journey.

Of course, we want to hold on—especially when we care and wish to keep that person in our lives, or when we have a project together, or family ties. Communication is the first way to open up and realign, people can unbecome and become at all times.

However, when a relationship starts to fade or breaks, it often carries meaning beyond what our minds can immediately understand.

It can feel confusing, especially when there seems to be no clear explanation. But there doesn’t always need to be one. This might be a time when we should consider letting the person be, and also letting the person go.

Embracing Grief as Love Persisting

Imagine yourself at the end of your life, approaching death. Think about that person and the memories you shared, without overanalyzing. It will most likely be a warm memory—the reason they entered your life in the first place. Hold on to that. Cherish that.

In your heart, grieve. Take time to grieve. Feel the love and the loss. Cry if needs be. And then, in your heart, accept that there is a grander scheme at play—one that may not be clear to you right now—and surrender to it.

Cherish the essence of that person, rather than their specific actions in the now. We all operate from our subconscious more than we realize, and we are often unaware of the ways we affect others.

Finding Peace in Non-Attachment

Understand that everyone is on their own journey, and know that you served them, just as they served you. Feel love and appreciation for the person who crossed your path. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach that place of peace.

Recognize that cultivating love for those who we think have wronged us is an act of self-liberation and the highway to self-growth—it is for your peace and well-being, not theirs. Negative emotions run against the flow of life and act like poison. Change your inner dialogue to keep moving forward with life.

Plant a beautiful tree in your inner garden in honor of the essence of that person, then release them lovingly, without attachment. Thank them for what they taught you or showed you about yourself. Thank them for revealing themselves to you.

Love Yourself and Let Go

Feel love for yourself—for your ability to transmute hurt and negativity into love. It’s the less obvious thing to do. Feel proud of your strength, this is true power.

Breathe deeply and feel the joy of freedom—because true freedom is always light-weighted and empowering.

All is good. All is released.

Now, return to yourself and keep walking your path. New gifts will find their way to you.