What Does the Inner Child Have to Do with Self-Abandonment?

As we explored in a previous post, The Power of the Inner Child, the inner child is the most vital part of us—an expression of our soul living within the body.

But what do we mean when we talk about the “Self”?

The concept of Self can be misleading, as if we had one single, stable identity. In reality, we can identify many selves within us. For example:

• The self-conscious mind: the identity shaped by our conscious mind.

• The self-subconscious mind or emotional body: our emotional and energetic self, influenced by the subconscious mind.

• The self-soul: our essence, the self that exists both within and beyond the body.

The inner child is the expression of the soul within the body. So the body carries both the emotional charge from the subconscious mind and the soul’s essence—our inner child.

Self-abandonment doesn’t refer to the ego (self-mind), because the ego is a construct that can shift and change. Nor does it refer to the emotional body, which is made up of protective masks and survival strategies. In fact, the subconscious mind is mostly responsible for moving us away from the true self.

When we speak of self-abandonment, we refer to something simple: the moving away of our alignment with our soul —specifically, our inner child.

The inner child is:

• Pure

• Vulnerable

• Surrendered

• Soft

• Unconditionally loving

It is the feminine aspect within us—our most authentic, divine, and receptive essence. It is not wired for protection or defense. It is fragile, precious, and easily overlooked or exploited. That’s why we call it a child.

Self-abandonment means disconnecting from the inner child and putting something else—usually fear or social conditioning—first.

The Inner Mechanics of Self-Abandonment

Self-abandonment happens mostly at the subconscious level. We’re not usually aware of it in the moment. Our subconscious decides—based on fear and past experiences—that wearing a mask is safer than being authentic.

And here’s the thing: Self-abandonment is the consequence of disconnection from our inner child.

Every time we disconnect from ourselves—when the subconscious takes over, when we live in our heads, when we get lost in the past or future, or drown in reactive negative emotions—we abandon ourselves.

Every time we identify with the mind (conscious or subconscious) and move away from our soul’s imprint, we neglect our inner child.

Reconnecting with the Inner Child

So how do we stop self-abandoning?
Here are a few key practices:

1. Awareness
You can’t change what you’re not aware of.
Realize when you’re self-abandoning. Notice the subtle signs: people-pleasing, ignoring your needs, getting stuck in negative thoughts, saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or living in the past or future.

2. Feel into Your Inner Child
Connect to your body sensations, Body Integration is a great tool to do that. Ask yourself:
– Am I in touch with my inner child right now?
– Is she or he happy?
– What does my inner child need from me in this moment to feel safe and loved?
– Is what I’m doing or thinking aligned with that need?
– How can I protect, nurture, and cherish my inner child?

3. Realignment
If the answer to the first question is “no,” then realign.
Return to your body. Allow yourself to feel. Open the line of communication. Speak kindly to your inner child. Feel all your love for it. Offer presence and protection.

The inner child is your connection gauge.
When you’re in touch with it, you are whole.

Final Thoughts

Self-abandonment happens more often than we realize. In fact, we’ve all done it at some point in our lives. The good news is—we have the power to return.

Every time we choose connection, presence, softness, and love—we come back home to ourselves.
We embrace our truth.

And guess what? The inner child will reward you—with a surge of energy, joy, excitement, and love for life. You’ll feel it in your body, unmistakably, that’s the essence of self-love.